Family Relationships and Resemblances

(From Kardec's The Spirits' Book, Chapter IV) 

Family Relationships 

203. Do parents transfer a part of their soul to their children? Or do they only give them the organic life to which another soul then adds the moral life? 
“Only the organic life is given by the parents because the soul is indivisible. A daft father may have intelligent children, and vice versa.” 

204. Do our relationships extend beyond our present existence since we have had many lives? 
“Of course. The succession of their physical lives establishes a variety of relationships among spirits, which date back to their former lives. These relationships are often the cause of the empathy or aversion which you sometimes feel towards individuals whom you seem to meet for the first time.” 

205. It would appear that, for some, reincarnation seems to destroy family ties by carrying them back to periods prior to our present existence. 
“It extends rather than destroys them. On the contrary, the idea that present relationships are based on prior affections makes the bonds between members of the same family less dependent on the will of others. It makes the duties of brotherhood even more crucial, because your neighbor or your servant may be the incarnation of a spirit who has formerly related to you by blood.” 

a) So it diminishes the importance that many people give to their ancestry, since we may have had a spirit that has belonged to a different race than ours, or one that has held a different social standing? 
“That is true, but this importance is usually based on pride because most people honor their ancestors’ title, rank, and fortune. Many are embarrassed to admit that they have an honest shoemaker for a grandfather, but boast being the descendant of someone from a noble birth. No matter what people may say or do, they cannot prevent the actions of Divine order. God has not established natural law to meet the demands of human vanity.” 

206. If there is no relationship between the spirits successive reincarnations as the descendants of the same family, is it foolish to honor the memory of one’s ancestors? 
“Of course not, people should celebrate belonging to a family that counts elevated spirits among its members. Although spirits do not proceed from one another, their affection for those who are related to them by family ties is real. People are often led to incarnate in such and such a family because of preexisting links, and by the influence of attractions due to relationships from previous lives. You can rest assured that the spirits of your ancestors are in no way gratified by the honors you pay to their memory from a sentiment of pride. Through emulation of their good qualities your memory can become pleasant and valuable.”

Physical and Moral Likeness 

207. Parents often transfer physical likeness to their children; do they also transfer moral traits or likeness? 
“No, because they have different souls or spirits. The body may yield a body, but the spirit does not yield any other spirit. The descendants of the same race share nothing other than blood.” 

a) What causes the moral likeness that sometimes exists between parents and children? 
“The influence of moral sympathy, which brings together spirits with similar thoughts and inclinations.” 

208. Do the spirits of the parents have any influence over the spirit of their child after birth? 
“They have a very large influence on it. As we have already told you, spirits are made to contribute to one another’s progress. The spirits of the parents are entrusted with the mission of developing those of their children by the training they give them. It is a task that is appointed to them, and which they cannot fail to fulfill without feeling a sense of guilt.” 

209. How is it that good and virtuous parents often give birth to children who are perverse and malicious in nature? In other words, how is it that the good qualities of the parents do not always attract a good spirit to embody their child? 
“A bad spirit may ask to have good, honest parents in the hope that their counsel may help him or her mend their ways, and God often entrusts such a child to the care of moral individuals so that they may benefit from their love and care.” 

210. Can parents attract a good spirit into the body of their child by their objectives and prayers? 
“No, but they can improve the spirit of the child, who was entrusted to them for that purpose. It is their duty to do this, but bad children are often sent as a trial for the improvement of the parents.” 

211. What causes the similarity of character that so often exists among siblings, especially between twins? 
“The understanding that exists between two spirits who are attracted by similarities of thoughts and ideas, and who are happy to be together.” 

212. In the case of conjoined twins who share some of their organs, are there two spirits or two souls? 
“Yes, but their likeness often makes them seem as though there were only one.” 

213. Since spirits incarnate as twins due to feelings of sympathy, from where does the hostility that is sometimes felt by twins for one another originate? 
“There is no set rule stating that only sympathetic spirits are incarnated as twins. Unsympathetic spirits may have formed this link to try to work out their differences during a new physical life.”

216. In its new existence, does a spirit preserve any traces of the moral character exhibited in its former lives? 
“Yes, but it changes as it improves. Its social standing may also change greatly in successive lives. After being a master in one existence and becoming a slave in another, their tastes are altogether different and it is difficult to recognize them. Since it is the same spirit, there may be certain similarities between the manifestations of their character in successive lives, but these manifestations prefect the change in conditions and habits particular to each new corporeal life, until the character has improved and completely changed. People who were once arrogant and cruel can become humble and humane through repentance and effort.” 

217. Does a person preserve any traces of his or her physical nature from previous lives? 
“When the body is destroyed, the new one has no connection to the old one. However, the spirit is reflected in the body and despite the body being only matter, it is modeled based on the capacities of the spirit. Therefore, the spirit imprints a specific character that is most visible in the face, especially in the eyes. The face reflects the soul more than the rest of the body. At first sight, it may seem that only strong, healthy bodies could serve as the envelopes for good spirits. Yet every day we see superior people with deformed bodies.  The body housing the soul in a new incarnation does not have any essential connection with the one it has left (it may even belong to another race).