Families - The Law of Affinity

The Law of Affinity (from Kardec's The Gospel According to Spiritism) 

- Souls who are at the same level, with mutual affection and similar tastes, naturally gather together
- Souls more interested in doing harm are collected in darkened areas
- Souls who have respect and admiration for the achievements of each other are also grouped with one another in celestial cities.

 

Kardec explained why these affiliated souls (good or bad) tended to stay with each other:
“These spirits, happy at being together, seek out one another. Incarnation separates them only momentarily, because after their reentry into the errant state, they meet again like friends who have returned from a journey. Frequently, they even follow one another into incarnation, wherein they are reunited in the same family or the same circle, working together for their mutual advancement.”[1]

 

This tight cluster of souls will watch out for each other. While some are incarnates on earth, others will look on from the spirit side and help guide the material world spirits through their trials. Each side helps everyone in the group to advance together. As they become purer, their friendship becomes more concrete, as their bodies divest themselves of matter.

 

Kardec also stated, “There are no lasting affections except spiritual ones; physical affections die out with the cause that gave rise to them; but that cause no longer exists in the world of spirits, whereas the soul exists forever”.[2]

 

Are these souls a family?

Your parents were the method for you to be reborn into the material world.  So is the family we are born into will be the only family we ever have?  We always have our free will.  There are many other different types of family relationships, other than the family we are born into.  There are families who are together because of a purely physical connection. Or we might  marry or start a family, not because of true spiritual affection, but because of a sensual or monetary attraction.  And there are the families that we create for ourselves.

 

Regardless of how we became a family, we are surrounded by people who have been selected for us in order to experience the trials that we have selected for ourselves. We sometimes may not like them very much, but we will learn some lessons from them and for that, we should be grateful.  We may gravitate towards select members of our family and dislike others.  Those mistrustful relationships are usually in place for a reason.  Maybe the parents or other family members volunteered to help a soul improve, and they were unsuccessful.  That soul may be part of our family as a trial; someone that we somehow hurt in the past who is with us again as an opportunity for us to repair the damage we previously caused.

 

Kardec backed up this thought with;
“God, whose laws are all supremely wise, does nothing useless. Through reincarnation on the same globe, God has willed that the same spirits come in contact with one another again for the chance to repair their mutual offenses. Because of their previous relationships, God wishes furthermore to establish family ties on a spiritual basis and to support the principles of solidarity, fraternity and equality as a natural law.”[3]

 

Why do we need a family?

When we study the family from a Spiritist point of view, we see the family as part of our mission on earth:
- The family is a small scale workshop that God has placed us in so that we can learn the skills we need to live in the bigger world - the larger family called society.
- We find many different characters, traits and behaviors that we will encounter again in others as we age.  We may accept or challenge these family behaviors as we progress.
- Kardec explained that when we live in a family, we learn to break down our selfishness.  We learn how to take care (and how not to take care) of each other. We learn how to minimize our selfishness by sharing our belongings and our time.  The feeling of being very possessive and looking after only our personal interest turns to a familiar interest and a more collective growth. We are united in a family because we share common goals.
- At the same time, when we are interacting with our family group, we all have our own individual tasks and trials to work on from our past lives.

 

Is interesting to note that although spiritism emphasizes the importance of a commitment to each other, there is no specific marriage ceremony in spiritism (unlike most religious institutions).   With spiritism, God wishes all beings to unite themselves not only through the ties of the flesh, but more importantly through the ties of the soul.  Spiritism is a philosophy and a science, not a religion.  The mutual affection of one family member should be transmitted to all the others.  A family is composed of those who love and challenge you, but they always look after you to help you progress.

 

Our goal in the material world is to progress by learning to love with a purity of spirit.  Our spirit needs to advance to a level that allows us to no longer need the physical restrictions of the material world.  The goal of any family is to have shared experiences and beliefs, and a pure affection for each other.  The family members should want to reunite again in the spirit world; to talk more about what was learned and accomplished, and why there were failures.  A loving family should find everything forgivable.

 

ResourcesKardec, Allan (2008). The Gospel According to Spiritism.
 [1] Kardec, Allan, The Gospel According to Spiritism, EDICEI, p. 87
 [2] Kardec, Allan, The Gospel According to Spiritism, EDICEI, p. 87
 [3] Kardec, Allan, The Gospel According to Spiritism, EDICEI, p. 92
Foster, Brian (2014) The Case for Reincarnation – Your Path to Perfection.